Still Hangin' in There!

Just wanted to check in. I'm still here; exhausted, but I'm here. In exactly 3 weeks, we will be checking into Forsyth Medical Center to have Adalyn. I am getting so anxious that I cannot even see straight. I'm thinking that's the reason why I am so tired. I'm getting sleep, but not the you're knocked the hell out kind of sleep. I have been doing alot of tossing and turning, getting up to pee, that sort of thing. Gotta love it. I just keep telling myself that my body is just preparing for the sleepless nights to come. Even though it sounds so dreadful, I cannot wait. I just keep picturing the moment to come when we are in the delivery room, Adalyn is out safely and I hear her cry for the first time. It is going to be the most beautiful sound ever and I guarantee that I will be the proudest mama ever. 21 more days.....

Ally has been talking about Ava alot lately. I don't mind at all because I want Ava to be a part of Ally's life. Whatever it takes for her to remember Ava, I want that. I'm in such a fragile state right now that I cry over everything, but listening to Ally talk about Ava in such an innocent manor breaks my heart. Ally and I were at home on Sunday hanging out while John was at work and Ally looks up at me with a look of frustration. I could tell she was about to ask me a question so I said, "what's up baby?". She said, "Mommy, does Jesus have parachutes?". I didn't think I heard her right so I asked her to repeat herself. She stated the same thing again. I said, "well Ally, why would Jesus need parachutes?". She says, "I was hoping he would let Ava borrow one so she could come down here and we could see her." Needless to say, I lost it. Here is a child that is not even 4 years old trying to come up with ways to see her sister that she never got to really meet. When we lost Ava, everything was such a blur. I didn't know if it was a good idea for Ally to see Ava so John and I decided against it. Now, over a year later, I kick myself for it. I feel like I was unfair to Ally and I cant give that back to her now. All I can tell her for now is that we'll see her again one day and what a sweet reunion it will be.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next 3 weeks. I am a nervous wreck and John and Ally are having to put up with me. I'm so on edge and the only thing that's going to cure it is to hold Adalyn and look into her eyes. I haven't held a baby since I last held Ava. It will be so bittersweet, but worth it in the end. Thanks again!

33 Weeks!!!!!!!!!!

So its official, exactly 1 month 'til I check into the hospital to have baby girl! Its super crazy how time has just flown by. I know these last 4 weeks are going to drag though. My nerves have had enough and I am freaking out every time I turn around. Oh, speaking of turning around....guess who flipped yesterday and is currently breech? Oh yeah, you guessed it...Miss. Adalyn herself. I couldn't believe it. Actually, you know, nothing surprises me anymore with my children. All 3 of them have all been stubborn just like their mama :).

I really did have more to say, but my mind just went blank. I'm going to blame it on this time change. I was ready to go to bed at 6:30. Lets just keep it at "YAY, 4 weeks to go" and we are counting down. My bag is packed (for the most part), her car seat is in the car, her diaper bag is packed, bottles and clothes have all been washed. All we have to do now is get the swing out and get the living room ready for her. Ally is excited and already talking about showing her her room. Pray for us that we get to bring Adalyn home where she belongs.

Fall With Ally....

We have been able to squeeze in a bunch of fun stuff in so far this fall. Of course you know I ALWAYS have my camera to catch the priceless moments of the coolest 3 year old ever! Here are just a few....

Pumpkin Patch....

Playin' it up in the leaves....

Halloween Chicken Stew & Trunk or Treat....

1st of MANY Nst's

Today was my 1st NST of this pregnancy. It was bittersweet and of course, I ended up breaking down as soon as I got there. The last time I had a NST was the day I was told Ava had passed and it was in the very same room I was in today. Very emotional time for me as you can probably imagine. I am so lucky to have a doctor and nurses that are very patient with me and are willing to try to accomodate my every need. I would recommend Dr. Jacobs to anyone hands down.

All of this just reminds me how much everyone wants to get Adalyn into this world safe and sound. She is our little rainbow and I cannot wait to meet her.

Belly Pics!!

More to come once I get more creative, but this is it for now! Enjoy....we had alot of fun taking them!

Baby Shower

I am exhausted....

Ultrasound this morning, then Heather and I went and got our facials, the baby shower, and finally Johnathon and I attempted date night. Needless to say, I'm about useless right about now. I had an amazing day though. Seeing the face of my lil chunky monkey was enough to do me in, but spending time with family and friends at the shower topped the day off right. We are offically set and just "waiting on baby".

Another Sneak Peak at Miss. Adalyn!

We went today for what we thought was going to be our last 3D ultrasound this pregnancy....well what do you know, Adalyn decided that she did not want to cooperate until the very last 5 minutes. We got a couple really good pics, but we go back this coming Saturday for our final peak at her before we meet her in December. **Fun Fact: Ultrasound tech said that she has hair! Its about 2 inches long already!**