Almost June Already?!?!

I had my routine OB visit on Tuesday and of course, I was nervous as ever. I will be so glad when I get out of this dreadful 1st trimester. Not being able to feel the baby move bugs me and I'm not quite sure if he is okay (yes, I said he....I'll get to that in a minute). Johnathon and I have already agreed that we will invest in a doppler until the baby arrives. I will send it back this time....Unlike with Ally, I am pretty sure she was like 2 months old when I finally mailed it back! LOL Anywho, back to the visit....Dr. Jacobs explained to Johnathon and me that no amnio would be required to deliver the baby at 37 wks (Praise God!). I wasn't supposed to have an ultrasound then, but I honestly believe that Dr. Jacobs can read my mind. We were able to see the baby and "he" is measuring just 2 days ahead of our due date which is great. The heartbeat was healthy as ever beating in at 171 bpm. To answer your question, no we dont know this baby is a boy...I just have this feeling that it is. Who knows, I could be wrong....I was wrong with Ava, but right on the money with Ally. Everyone knows that I don't care what the gender is. As long as this kid comes out screaming, I will be one happy Mommy.

I guess I will let you guys in on why I am slacking at posting.....I am in a Twilight daze! I started on the first book last Thursday and I am on the last one (book 4) now. I love love love it. I have even have John reading them now too. Go ahead, call us nerds, your Twilight days will come!

Only if you were here....

My precious Ava,

We are on our yearly vacation to Savannah and this was supposed to be our first vacation as a family of four. Even though you are not here in body, I know you are with me in spirit. Paw Paw is starting on your flower garden at our house this weekend. I am excited to see it. I know it will be perfect, just like you.

I love and miss you so much baby girl. Tell your Granny and Grandpa Underwood Hi for me. I know they are having a ball with you.

Until next time, I love and miss you more and more everyday.

xoxoxoxo,
Mommy

Vacation....

Well here we are in Port Wentworth, GA and if it keeps raining like this, I will begin to think we will be dating back to the flood. What a wonderful vacation though, seriously. I am so glad to be away from home for just a little while. My mind and body are just so drained. Seeing Lisa and the kids is nice too.

I go back to the doctor Tuesday when we get back in town. I'm really nervous. I'm so close to the end of the dreadful 1st trimester and I am so scared that something is going to go wrong. I want to hear a heartbeat so bad and just be reassured that everything is okay now. I watched Marley and Me the other night and what happens? Jenny went to the doctor and there was no heartbeat at 10 weeks. Sooooo, I'll let you use your head and get an idea why I'm freaking out right now. I know, I know, its just a movie, but still.....

As always, keep us in your prayers. John is driving home so say an extra prayer for me and Ally :o) LOL

I Love You Ava!!

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

One Lucky Mommy

My Dearest Ava,

I just want to thank you for everything that you are doing up there in Heaven. You are watching out for your baby brother or sister and I know you will make sure they get here safely. As always, I miss you more than you will ever know, but I feel you close to me often. I am a very lucky mommy to have such a loving little angel with me. Its hard to believe that very soon you would have been 10 months old. Man, I bet you would be getting into everything. Almost walking....Wow, I can just imagine you and Ally playing together. She misses you and talks about you alot. Everytime we go shopping, she wants to pick you out a special flower to put at your resting spot. She loves you Ava, we all do. Until next time, I love and miss you more and more everyday!

XOXOXOXO,
Mommy

Cinco De Mayo!

Not one year has Cinco De Mayo meant one thing to me, but this year it brought a whole new meaning. Johnathon and I were able to hear our baby's heart beat today. This was a very emotional visit for me because I was just so scared. Its hard for me to think all positive thoughts after all we have been through. Losing Ava was by far the hardest thing I will ever have to face and after having such a horrible thing happen to me, I never thought that I would see a hint of light through this pit I have been in.

After all of the excitement between John and I at the ultrasound, they confirmed my actual due date. They have moved it from 12/25 to 12/20. Either way, we are still over the moon. Pray for us that everything will continue to go smoothly!